How to Deal with Negative People

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”

1. Recognize and accept their toxicity
First and foremost, it is important to identify and accept that someone we know is a negative person. This can be difficult, especially when the person is someone we care about. Either way, we must be careful not to allow their negativity to transfer onto us. We need to accept that negativity is toxic and will only breed more negativity. It is especially important to avoid complainers. People who complain have given up hope that their actions can make any difference. We must be careful not to enable complainers by always listening to their woes.

2. Stop playing savior and/or problem solver
As human beings, we are wired to connect. For most of us, it is in our nature to lend a compassionate ear to someone who is in need. We must be careful not to let ourselves fall into the trap of negativity because we feel obligated to be helpful or nice. Keep in mind that negative people feed off spreading negativity to others.

3. Negative people are manipulative
Negative people learn how to discretely present themselves in a way that is disarming to others. Make sure to set your boundaries early with a person you have identified as negative. When a negative person meets someone who is positive, they will often ridicule, degrade or dismiss the person with the positive outlook. This is why negative people tend to surround themselves with other negative people. Keep in mind that a negative person will let you think they have “seen the light” just to throw it in your face the moment something does not go according to plan.

4. Don’t fight every battle
In the words of Mark Twain, “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” This applies especially to negative people. Attempting to convince a negative person of something positive is a waste of time. As a result of trying to convince them you might even become the target for all of their negativity. I am not saying to avoid the battles that need to be fought, I am saying to choose your battles wisely.

5. Keep emotional distance
The most important thing to remember when interacting with a negative person is to not get too close emotionally. We cannot always avoid negative people in our lives. But, we can keep ourselves from emotionally investing in such a way that causes us to spiral from our own reactivity. Remember, you cannot always avoid being reactive, but you can avoid dwelling on the reaction and spiraling into a negative place

 

No Matter How Many Times You Fall, Always find a way to Get Up…

It was bad, like someone had hit me on my stomach after blowing a hard punch on my face. I didn’t like it, AT ALL. It all happened within seconds, but its impact had not only left me with bruises but also a bad aftertaste which was making me sick to the core.

No, I didn’t get beaten up if that what you are thinking at least not in an actual way. I had an encounter with FAILURE. A CLOSE ONE. It had left me in a shock, and I didn’t like that feeling at all.

It made me feel like I had fallen down while walking. I didn’t want to get up; I wanted to just accept it and lie down there and live in terms with it. I felt like the people around me are laughing at me which made it worse. But a close look at them and I realized that no one had the time to laugh at me cause everyone was busy fighting their own battle and trying to learn to walk as well.

Now, it was time to make a decision whether I wanted to get up and walk in the same direction or take a different route. Cause I had to get up, I didn’t want to lie there and accept defeat. My friend had pointed out, “You have hit rock bottom, now you have nowhere to go but UP!”

I have my friends and family to help me, motivate me, encourage me but the final jump has to be my own. I know it’s easier said than done and your self-esteem will take a toll. But you don’t have to get up right away but whenever you do, make sure it’s with a bang.

You might even fall again but always remember that;

When a child is learning how to walk and falls down 50 times, they never think to themselves ,“Maybe this isn’t for me.”

Change your thinking, change your life.

P2P Image 5

Dealing with life most certainly will be determined by your deeply-rooted mindset. How you interpret and perceive the daily situations in your life will provide an even greater indication of how you will actually make decisions going forward (both directly and indirectly).

What is your view on life? Do you envision it as a constant struggle, always having to defy the odds, while functioning in survival mode on a daily basis? Or do you see it as a field of dreams, ready to take on what the day brings, yet embracing all of the opportunities that life has to offer? Obviously, there are two very different perspectives, right?

Ever heard of the quote: “Your attitude determines your altitude?”
This means that in order to see yourself become successful in life, you must envision it in advance and BElieve success will be given to you in the midst of your path. Identifying your way of thinking (and doing frequent check-ins) to see how it currently affects the way you function within your life is critical.

Get rid of the “stinking thinking!” That woe is me, I’m a victim mentality only serves as a short term mechanism of avoidance, which does not propel you to move forward in achievement and abundance…it only hinders and stagnates your future goals and opportunities.

The key is to develop an authentic relationship with yourself. In order to be in control of YOU, the feelings of fear and uncertainty must subside. Lack of confidence, low self-esteem and an overall pessimistic attitude can continuously set you back several steps (which can translate into years!), thus preventing you from experiencing new and exciting opportunities that may lay ahead for you.

Begin to speak the desires of your heart into existence! Whatever your passion, seek it out and it will direct you towards the purpose you have always been looking for!

So next time opportunity comes knocking…Just be ready to open the door to receive it!

Change your thinking change your life.

Change is one of the hardest things for most people to do.  Whether it is a big change or a small one, if we cannot see how we will reach the end result clearly, it just does not happen.

Several years ago I read John Maxwell’s book “Thinking For a Change” and it inspired me to take steps in the direction that I wanted to go, but just did not see how it would result in the changes I wanted.  Change does not happen overnight, I learned it is those small baby-steps we take each day that eventually leads to big changes.

If you are at a cross-road and know that a change is needed, but are struggling with the “hows and what ifs” I want to encourage you to pick up a copy of “Thinking for a Change” and begin moving forward.

“At the heart of John C. Maxwell’s brilliant and inspiring book is a simple premise: To do well in life, we must first think well. But can we actually learn new mental habits? Thinking for a Change answers that with a resounding “yes” — and shows how changing your thinking can indeed change your life.”

Change your thinking change your life.

Change is one of the hardest things for most people to do.  Whether it is a big change or a small one, if we cannot see how we will reach the end result clearly, it just does not happen.

Several years ago I read John Maxwell’s book “Thinking For a Change” and it inspired me to take steps in the direction that I wanted to go, but just did not see how it would result in the changes I wanted.  Change does not happen overnight, I learned it is those small baby-steps we take each day that eventually leads to big changes.

If you are at a cross-road and know that a change is needed, but are struggling with the “hows and what ifs” I want to encourage you to pick up a copy of “Thinking for a Change” and begin moving forward.

“At the heart of John C. Maxwell’s brilliant and inspiring book is a simple premise: To do well in life, we must first think well. But can we actually learn new mental habits? Thinking for a Change answers that with a resounding “yes” — and shows how changing your thinking can indeed change your life.”

Priorities …

Priorities line up at every step of our life, right from the birth to the heavenly abode they always highlight the purpose of our soul. When we step into the world our priorities( about which we are unaware, but our parents do take care of it!) include sleeping, drinking milk,crying, throwing hands and legs, again drinking milk and again going to a sound sleep.

As we turn into school going kids our priorities change, rather It would be better to say, it adds up as studies, friends, and more.. Once we get graduated our solo priority becomes getting a job and earning a living ASAP. Once we establish ourselves well into our career we move forward to give specific name to our relationships and our priorities are reinvented once again. When we bring our children into this world another cycle of priorities start and the former one continues till we leave for the heavenly abode. But! Do the priorities end?? No, they go on with our soul and are given a new form. Gradually we come to know that our priorities were actually our life milestones!! It brings me back to my question, What’s your priority? Time to ponder!!

Survival is a Balancing ACT. Threat can come from any direction.

Most of us learn how to survive in a world that has its own conditions and expectations, and we somehow find a balance between expressing our uniqueness; our free spirit and our independence, while all the time presenting a degree of conformity!

It seems like a complex and important  balancing act is performed, which I suppose it is, because non-compliance can result in social  isolation, friction, and possibly time in a system where human contact is minimal! It can also result in financial hardship such that staying alive is the number one priority.

My  earlier life as a stray  have taught me some basic survival skills also. Like animals in the wild would have to perform balancing act to avoid conflicts with other animals, and yet be prepared to establish their right to food as necessary. They would have to carefully decide whether to stand their ground, or back away from delicate situations.

I cannot remember how I acquired the picture below, but I find it not only rather amusing, but very appropriate!

quote-survival

There are numerous times when it has been wise to say nothing, and there are times when “Go with the flow” suddenly makes so much sense and, of course, there are occasions when keeping a low profile is critical!

There are other situations where survival is used in the context of maintaining relationships and, for me more recently, in maintaining thought provoking dialogues. “Literary jousting” comes to mind as an appropriate term to often describe circumstances I find myself in when there are humorous undertones to the dialogue! Survival is then dependent on literary gymnastics, diversions, confusion, and (as in politics) total avoidance of all facts. One quote which comes to mind is  “”When all else fails, complicate matters” – I love that one.

Survival is necessary at so many levels  and living dictates having a working knowledge of all of them. Looking back at that picture, what would you do if you were a fox and found yourself in the middle of a pack of hounds? Just thinking!